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《我的生活》第十五章
The
summer
and
winter
following
the
"
Frost
King"
incident
I
spent
with
my
family
in
Alabama.
I
recall
with
delight
that
home-
going.
Everything
had
budded
and
blossomed.
I
was
happy. "
The
Frost
King"
was
forgotten.
《冰雪之王》事件之后那一年的夏天和冬天，我是同家人一起在亚拉巴马度过的。我愉快地找到了“归家”的感觉。万事万物都经历了抽枝发芽、竞相怒放的过程。我很高兴《冰雪之王》事件已成为过眼云烟。
When
the
ground
was
strewn
with
the
crimson
and
golden
leaves
of
autumn,
and
the
musk-
scented
grapes
that
covered
the
arbour
at
the
end
of
the
garden
were
turning
golden
brown
in
the
sunshine,
I
began
to
write
a
sketch
of
my
life—
a
year
after
I
had
written
"
The
Frost
King."
秋天，大地撒满了深红色和金黄色的树叶。散发着麝香味的葡萄藤遮盖了花园尽头的凉亭。在阳光的照耀下，一串串葡萄变成了金灿灿的红褐色。置身其中，我开始用笔勾勒我的生活——此时已经距我写《冰雪之王》一年有余。
I
was
still
excessively
scrupulous
about
everything
I
wrote.
The
thought
that
what
I
wrote
might
not
be
absolutely
my
own
tormented
me.
No
one
knew
of
these
fears
except
my
teacher.
A
strange
sensitiveness
prevented
me
from
referring
to
the
"
Frost
King";
and
often
when
an
idea
flashed
out
in
the
course
of
conversation
I
would
spell
softly
to
her, "
I
am
not
sure
it
is
mine."
At
other
times,
in
the
midst
of
a
paragraph
I
was
writing,
I
said
to
myself, "
Suppose
it
should
be
found
that
all
this
was
written
by
some
one
long
ago!"
An
impish
fear
clutched
my
hand,
so
that
I
could
not
write
any
more
that
day.
And
even
now
I
sometimes
feel
the
same
uneasiness
and
disquietude.
Miss
Sullivan
consoled
and
helped
me
in
every
way
she
could
think
of;
but
the
terrible
experience
I
had
passed
through
left
a
lasting
impression
on
my
mind,
the
significance
of
which
I
am
only
just
beginning
to
understand.
此时，我仍旧对我写的任何东西抱着谨小慎微的态度。我写的东西也许并不完全属于我自己——这样的想法深深地折磨着我。除了我的老师，没有人知晓我的恐惧心理。这种神经过敏的古怪心理使我对《冰雪之王》事件这类事敬而远之。因此常会有这样的事发生，在同老师交谈的过程中，当我萌生出一个想法时，我就会对她拼写出这样的句子：“我不太肯定这是我自己的。”另外，当我把某段文字写到中间的时候，我就会对自己说：“你写的这些东西可能早已经被人写过了！”一种戏谑般的恐惧感攫住了我的双手，于是，那一天我会无法再写出任何东西。直到现在，我还能时常感受到同样的忧虑和不安。苏立文小姐想方设法帮我摆脱困境，但是可怕的经历给我留下了难以磨灭的印记，而对于其中的重要意义我也只是刚刚开始理解。
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