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第三章
Meanwhile
the
desire
to
express
myself
grew.
The
few
signs
I
used
became
less
and
less
adequate,
and
my
failures
to
make
myself
understood
were
invariably
followed
by
outbursts
of
passion.
I
felt
as
if
invisible
hands
were
holding
me,
and
I
made
frantic
efforts
to
free
myself.
I
struggled—
not
that
struggling
helped
matters,
but
the
spirit
of
resistance
was
strong
within
me;
I
generally
broke
down
in
tears
and
physical
exhaustion.
If
my
mother
happened
to
be
near
I
crept
into
her
arms,
too
miserable
even
to
remember
the
cause
of
the
tempest.
After
awhile
the
need
of
some
means
of
communication
became
so
urgent
that
these
outbursts
occurred
daily,
sometimes
hourly.
在成长的过程中，我越来越渴望表达自己的意愿，但是我使用的几个简单的手势已经远远不够用了；而且，当我无法表明自己的意图时，我就会气急败坏。我感到似乎有一双看不见的手正在抓着我，而我则拼命地想挣脱束缚。我努力抗争——当然并不是希求解决问题，而是想为我内心深处强烈的反抗精神寻找出路。我通常会哭闹不止，直至筋疲力尽。如果母亲碰巧在身边，我会悄悄地钻进她的怀里。我伤心至极，乃至于忘记了愤怒的原因。后来，这种情绪的爆发在每天，或者每小时都会发生，因此，对于交流的需求于我是如此地迫切。
My
parents
were
deeply
grieved
and
perplexed.
We
lived
a
long
way
from
any
school
for
the
blind
or
the
deaf,
and
it
seemed
unlikely
that
any
one
would
come
to
such
an
out-
of-
the-
way
place
as
Tuscumbia
to
teach
a
child
who
was
both
deaf
and
blind.
Indeed,
my
friends
and
relatives
sometimes
doubted
whether
I
could
be
taught.
My
mother's
only
ray
of
hope
came
from
Dickens's
"
American
Notes."
She
had
read
his
account
of
Laura
Bridgman,
and
remembered
vaguely
that
she
was
deaf
and
blind,
yet
had
been
educated.
But
she
also
remembered
with
a
hopeless
pang
that
Dr.
Howe,
who
had
discovered
the
way
to
teach
the
deaf
and
blind,
had
been
dead
many
years.
我的父母陷入了深深的痛苦和困惑之中。当时，我们家离任何一所盲人或聋哑学校都很远，而且，似乎也不会有任何人能跑到像图斯康比亚这种偏僻的地方，就为了教一个又聋又瞎的小孩子。事实上，我的朋友和亲属们一度怀疑我真的能否接受教育。我母亲唯一的希望来自狄更斯的《美国札记》，她曾读过他写的劳拉·布里吉曼的故事，而且她隐约记得那个女孩子也是又聋又瞎，然而却接受了正规教育。不过她也感到希望渺茫，因为豪博士，也就是探索传授盲聋人知识的先驱，已经去世很多年了。
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