One day some gentlemen called on my mother, and I felt the shutting of the front door and other sounds that indicated their arrival. On a sudden thought I ran upstairs before any one could stop me, to put on my idea of a company dress. Standing before the mirror, as I had seen others do, I anointed mine head with oil and covered my face thickly with powder. Then I pinned a veil over my head so that it covered my face and fell in folds down to my shoulders, and tied an enormous bustle round my small waist, so that it dangled behind, almost meeting the hem of my skirt. Thus attired I went down to help entertain the company.
有一天，一些绅士邀请我母亲外出，我感觉到了大门关闭的震动和他们离去的声音。一个突如其来的念头令我跑上了楼，我穿上了外出的礼服，站在镜子前。就像其他人做的那样，我往自己的头上抹油，还往自己的脸上涂满厚厚的香粉。随后，我在头上别了一块面纱，于是我的脸和肩膀全都埋进了面纱的褶皱里。我还在腰间系了一个硕大的绳结，绳结悬垂在身后，几乎碰到了裙角。带着这身打扮，我会下楼逗众人开心。
I
do
not
remember
when
I
first
realized
that
I
was
different
from
other
people;
but
I
knew
it
before
my
teacher
came
to
me.
I
had
noticed
that
my
mother
and
my
friends
did
not
use
signs
as
I
did
when
they
wanted
anything
done,
but
talked
with
their
mouths.
Sometimes
I
stood
between
two
persons
who
were
conversing
and
touched
their
lips.
I
could
not
understand,
and
was
vexed.
I
moved
my
lips
and
gesticulated
frantically
without
result.
This
made
me
so
angry
at
times
that
I
kicked
and
screamed
until
I
was
exhausted.
至于我第一次意识到自己同别人不同时的感受，我已经不记得了；但是在我的老师到来之前，我就知道自己与众不同。我注意到我的母亲和我的朋友们都不像我这样，她们在做事时不会使用手势，而是用嘴交谈就行了。有时候，我会站在两个谈话的大人之间，用手去摸他们的嘴唇。我无法理解，而且懊恼异常。于是，我试着移动自己的嘴唇，并且疯狂而徒劳地进行模仿。无奈的举动令我如此愤怒，我又踢又叫，直至筋疲力尽。
I
think
I
knew
when
I
was
naughty,
for
I
knew
that
it
hurt
Ella,
my
nurse,
to
kick
her,
and
when
my
fit
of
temper
was
over
I
had
a
feeling
akin
to
regret.
But
I
cannot
remember
any
instance
in
which
this
feeling
prevented
me
from
repeating
the
naughtiness
when
I
failed
to
get
what
I
wanted.
我想，那时候我知道自己的乖戾顽皮，因为我记得我伤害过我的保姆埃拉，我曾踢过她。狂暴过后，我就会生出几分懊悔，但是我不记得这种歉疚感有没有令我的胡闹收敛一些。
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