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第二章
I
cannot
recall
what
happened
during
the
first
months
after
my
illness.
I
only
know
that
I
sat
in
my
mother's
lap
or
clung
to
her
dress
as
she
went
about
her
household
duties.
My
hands
felt
every
object
and
observed
every
motion,
and
in
this
way
I
learned
to
know
many
things.
Soon
I
felt
the
need
of
some
communication
with
others
and
began
to
make
crude
signs.
A
shake
of
the
head
meant
"
No"
and
a
nod, "
Yes,"
a
pull
meant
"
Come"
and
a
push, "
Go."
Was
it
bread
that
I
wanted?
Then
I
would
imitate
the
acts
of
cutting
the
slices
and
buttering
them.
If
I
wanted
my
mother
to
make
ice-
cream
for
dinner
I
made
the
sign
for
working
the
freezer
and
shivered,
indicating
cold.
My
mother,
moreover,
succeeded
in
making
me
understand
a
good
deal.
I
always
knew
when
she
wished
me
to
bring
her
something,
and
I
would
run
upstairs
or
anywhere
else
she
indicated.
Indeed,
I
owe
to
her
loving
wisdom
all
that
was
bright
and
good
in
my
long
night.
在我生病之后的头一个月里发生了什么，我已经记不得了。我只知道我曾坐在母亲的腿上，或者在她做家务的时候紧紧地依附在她的衣服上。我的双手可以感知每一种物体的形状，也可以“观察”每一个移动的物体，正是通过这种方式，我了解了许多事情。后来，我觉得我需要同他人进行交流，于是我开始做出一些简单的举动。比如用摇头表示“不”，用点头表示“行”；往回拉的动作表示“回来”，向外推则表示“去”。如果我想吃面包怎么办？我会模仿切面包片，然后往上涂抹黄油的动作。假如我想让母亲在晚餐时做点冰激凌吃，我就会做出搅动和浑身颤抖的动作，这表示“冰凉”。此外，我的母亲也成功地让我领会了很多事情。当她想让我为她拿东西的时候，我马上就能理解，我会跑到楼上或者她告诉我的其他任何地方。事实上，在夤夜漫漫的生活中，我要感谢母亲用她富于智慧的无私之爱驱除掉我身边的黑暗，让我体会到生命的美好。
I
understood
a
good
deal
of
what
was
going
on
about
me.
At
five
I
learned
to
fold
and
put
away
the
clean
clothes
when
they
were
brought
in
from
the
laundry,
and
I
distinguished
my
own
from
the
rest.
I
knew
by
the
way
my
mother
and
aunt
dressed
when
they
were
going
out,
and
I
invariably
begged
to
go
with
them.
I
was
always
sent
for
when
there
was
company,
and
when
the
guests
took
their
leave,
I
waved
my
hand
to
them,
I
think
with
a
vague
remembrance
of
the
meaning
of
the
gesture.
我明白我的未来所面临的巨大考验。在我五岁的时候，我学会了把干净的衣服叠好并且收起来，而且，在洗衣房送来的衣物中，我会辨别出哪些是自己的衣服。通过这种方式，我也顺便知道了母亲和姨妈会在什么时候外出。我总是央求她们带我一起去。家里有客人来的时候，我会主动打招呼；当他们走的时候，我会朝他们挥手道别。当然，关于那些手势的记忆是含混不清的。
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